+ 46

Contribute Jokes and get Credited!

My first code in Sololearn is Programming Jokes (https://code.sololearn.com/W9RRiya4cPGu/#html). I added only 10 jokes then. I am planning on updating it. Right now, there are 23 jokes in it. I want to add more and more jokes and for that, I need your help. Submit programming jokes as an answer to this post or as a comment to my code and get credited. The joke you submitted will be added to my code with a "SUBMITTED BY : YOUR_NAME" at the bottom.

25th Mar 2017, 12:58 AM
Krishna Teja Yeluripati
Krishna Teja Yeluripati - avatar
64 Answers
+ 132
Programmers be like : //error 4:04 Sleep not found!
25th Mar 2017, 4:38 AM
<^>washika D<^>
<^>washika D<^> - avatar
+ 58
World Wide Web Conversation:  Wikipedia: "I know everything!"  Google: "I can find everything!"  Facebook: "I know everybody!"  Internet: "Without me you are all nothing!"  Electricity: "Yeah...keep talking, dummies." Dear Humanity, 20 years ago, I was your Internet. Sincerely, The Library
27th Mar 2017, 11:17 AM
Ace
Ace - avatar
+ 50
Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. It's a hardware problem.
25th Mar 2017, 8:03 AM
Gami
Gami - avatar
+ 46
A few from me @Krishna: Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?” The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.” Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?” “Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”
25th Mar 2017, 3:40 AM
Dev
Dev - avatar
+ 45
One more though: Have you heard about the new Crazy super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.
25th Mar 2017, 3:42 AM
Dev
Dev - avatar
+ 34
Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays.
25th Mar 2017, 4:01 AM
Karl T.
Karl T. - avatar
+ 31
A programmer was found dead in his shower... Who was the murderer? The shampoo bottle... It had the following instructions on it: Wet hair. Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat. 😁😀😂Posted [email protected]_J.
25th Mar 2017, 8:09 AM
Dragon Slayer Xavier
Dragon Slayer Xavier - avatar
+ 28
I have one posted as a question with the title "Joke" (Pretty creative, right?) Anyway, copy-pasted here: A man complains of halleucinations. He goes to his doctor for help. His doctor says, "Try C#." The man replied, "I've already tried it." His doctor responds back and says, "Well, if you already C#, then what could be the problem?" The man says, "Whenever I compile programs, I see tons of errors, every time." The doctor replied back, saying, "Oh. That's perfectly normal. It can't be fixed. Try not being a programmer."
25th Mar 2017, 1:17 AM
J.G.
J.G. - avatar
+ 27
Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to fix a light bulb? A: Yes.
25th Mar 2017, 3:31 PM
Hatsy Rei
Hatsy Rei - avatar
+ 24
@Hatsy : I forgot to mention. I don't have any knowledge about Prolog. So, I didn't get the joke and wanted to ask you what it meant. @Ace, @Bharathkumar Teki : Thanks for contributing. I will add your submissions in a day or two.
27th Mar 2017, 11:57 AM
Krishna Teja Yeluripati
Krishna Teja Yeluripati - avatar
+ 23
a man asked me a question which came first chicken or egg? i told him chicken he ask how i told because egg cant run do u understood running marathon 😂😂
20th May 2017, 5:01 PM
Prashanth Kumar
Prashanth Kumar - avatar
25th Mar 2017, 3:34 PM
Hatsy Rei
Hatsy Rei - avatar
+ 21
Guess what the switch structure said to the programmer. "Give me a break!"
6th Apr 2017, 3:15 AM
Hatsy Rei
Hatsy Rei - avatar
+ 21
A woman called her programmer husband and said "While you're at the store, get some milk!" The programmer never returned home. Because she forgot to say "Break".
22nd May 2017, 9:39 PM
Leigh E. O.
Leigh E. O. - avatar
+ 19
Good one @J.G. Let's see if there will be any more submissions in the next 12 hours. I will add all submissions to my code then.
25th Mar 2017, 2:14 AM
Krishna Teja Yeluripati
Krishna Teja Yeluripati - avatar
+ 19
@Krishna The one I posted about light bulbs is different from the one existing in your code (although both were about light bulbs). Please review.
27th Mar 2017, 10:51 AM
Hatsy Rei
Hatsy Rei - avatar
+ 19
@Krishna Because Prolog programming is normally utilised in such a way that the program replies either yes or no to your queries, based on a predefined set of information/database. xD
27th Mar 2017, 1:56 PM
Hatsy Rei
Hatsy Rei - avatar
+ 18
Thanks for the contribution everyone. I will notify after updating the code.
25th Mar 2017, 5:16 PM
Krishna Teja Yeluripati
Krishna Teja Yeluripati - avatar
+ 18
Just added all these jokes (except the ones already present) to the code. Check it out. There are 55 jokes in the code now! If you know any other jokes, contribute and get credited again.
27th Mar 2017, 10:49 AM
Krishna Teja Yeluripati
Krishna Teja Yeluripati - avatar
+ 17
@Andelko It's already there in his code:-)
25th Mar 2017, 8:58 AM
Dev
Dev - avatar