+ 39

***** Software JOKES *****

Q: How many Software Developer's does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.

1st Apr 2017, 10:41 PM
bernscode
bernscode - avatar
28 Answers
+ 27
Hardware(noun) -- The part of a computer that you can kick. Programmer(noun) -- A machine that turns coffee into code. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right? A: 1 Q: Why did the programmer quit his job. A: He didn't get arrays(a raise). Q: What do computers and air conditioners have in common? A: They both become useless when you try to open windows. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fu Br(Foo Bar) Fucked up beyond recognition. How do you tell the difference between HTML and HTML5? Try it in IE. Did it work? No. That's HTML5. SQL query walks into a bar, goes to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?" UNIX is user friendly..... It's just particular about who it's friends are. Hide and Seek champion ; since 1985 [ "hip" , "hip" ] Enjoy!
4th Apr 2017, 1:28 PM
SoraKatadzuma
SoraKatadzuma - avatar
+ 39
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
2nd Apr 2017, 2:47 AM
Sachin Prajapati
Sachin Prajapati - avatar
+ 31
BIOS joke: Keyboard not found... Press ENTER to continue...
2nd Apr 2017, 3:26 PM
देवेंद्र महाजन (Devender)
देवेंद्र महाजन (Devender) - avatar
+ 29
What's a web developers favorite snack? 🍪🍪🍪Cookies🍪🍪🍪
13th Apr 2017, 7:40 PM
ɔ͒̋ᴉ̼̻̤͙͇͈̓ͧʇ̋̌̃ḓ̣ͯʎ̱̝̗̗̺̐͊ɹʞ͇̮́̍̾̽̈́̓
ɔ͒̋ᴉ̼̻̤͙͇͈̓ͧʇ̋̌̃ḓ̣ͯʎ̱̝̗̗̺̐͊ɹʞ͇̮́̍̾̽̈́̓ - avatar
+ 22
Q : How many web designers does it take to change a lightbulb? A : Three. One to change Lamp structure, one to update the style, and the other one to make tool.switchLampOn().
2nd Apr 2017, 12:22 AM
Agus Mei
Agus Mei - avatar
+ 17
********Some of Best Ever****** Q: Why do Java programmers have wear glasses? A: Because they don't C# (see sharp). --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Real programmers count from... 0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Software developers like to solve problems. if there are no problems handily available; the will create they own problems! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says: Hello World. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A programme had a problem. He decided to use Java. He now has a ProblemFactory. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chuck Norris can take a screenshot of his blue screen --------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you put a millions monkeys on a millions keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. the rest of them will write Perl program. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- **Life Before the Computer** An application: was for employment. A program: was a TV show. A cursor: used profanity. A keyboard: was a piano!. Memory: was something that you lost with age. A CD: was a bank account. And if you had a 3-inch floppy, You hoped nobody found out! Compress: was something you did to garbage Not something you did to a file. And if you unzipped anything in public You’d be in jail for awhile! Log on: was adding wood to a fire. Hard drive: was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad: was where a mouse lived. And a backup: happened to your commode! Cut: you did with a pocket knife. Paste: you did with glue. A web: was a spider’s home And a virus was the flu! **********Enjoy********
7th Apr 2017, 12:55 AM
JΞΜΔ 🇨🇩👑 [ActiveChallenger]
JΞΜΔ  🇨🇩👑  [ActiveChallenger] - avatar
+ 14
****Definitions you need to know**** Algorithm (noun.) Word used by programmers when... They do not want explain what they did. Programmer (noun.) A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
10th Apr 2017, 1:00 PM
JΞΜΔ 🇨🇩👑 [ActiveChallenger]
JΞΜΔ  🇨🇩👑  [ActiveChallenger] - avatar
+ 14
Cookies : This is a eatable Object. which is widely used by @Hatsy Rei hahahhha😏
14th Apr 2017, 1:49 PM
Ajay Agrawal
Ajay Agrawal - avatar
+ 12
Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected.
2nd Apr 2017, 3:25 PM
देवेंद्र महाजन (Devender)
देवेंद्र महाजन (Devender) - avatar
+ 10
-What can you catch but can never throw? -Multiple exceptions
9th Apr 2017, 2:04 PM
Dinmukhamed Mailibay
Dinmukhamed Mailibay - avatar
+ 9
Q: How many Mac users does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one, but the bulb has to be purchased directly from Apple, only screws in one way, lights up 80% of the time, and is PERFECTLY ENGINEERED
1st Apr 2017, 11:52 PM
William La Flamme
William La Flamme - avatar
+ 9
@Devender Mahajan : Can I use these 2 jokes in my code?
2nd Apr 2017, 3:27 PM
Krishna Teja Yeluripati
Krishna Teja Yeluripati - avatar
+ 8
2nd Apr 2017, 2:49 AM
Krishna Teja Yeluripati
Krishna Teja Yeluripati - avatar
+ 8
What is the best example of "pig-headed" in the world? Answer: Window 10 Updates.
3rd Apr 2017, 4:19 PM
Deepak Bisht
Deepak Bisht - avatar
+ 8
Q: What's the best prefix for a global variable in C++? A: //
10th Apr 2017, 10:07 AM
Zablas
Zablas - avatar
+ 7
No!! not again
2nd Apr 2017, 2:50 AM
Swati
Swati - avatar
+ 6
@Krishna Teja Yes you can because it's from the _internet_ See the references 1)https://googleweblight.com/i?u=https://comic.browserling.com/tag/bios&grqid=c9ClOEBV&hl=en-IN 2)https://googleweblight.com/i?u=https://www.sololearn.com/Discuss/131811/50-of-people-use-google-well-as-a-search-engine-the-rest-50-of-them-use-it-to-check-if-their&grqid=dNB3N5aw&hl=en-IN Yes I am a jobless engineer and all these jokes are from Google(the irony) So don't ask him and just use it.
2nd Apr 2017, 3:33 PM
Swati
Swati - avatar
+ 6
A programmer's wife tells him to buy 1 glass of milk and adds: if the store has eggs, buy a dozen. The programmer gets home with 12 glasses of milk. His wife yells at him and asks why. "Because the store has eggs"
6th Apr 2017, 2:23 AM
Emerson Prado
Emerson Prado - avatar
+ 4
real life joke: my life
4th Apr 2017, 4:25 PM
Louie Andrew Capulso
Louie Andrew Capulso - avatar
+ 3
haha good one
1st Apr 2017, 10:43 PM
Edward