/*My sense of humor is beyond your comprehension. * * I have no mental diagnosis because no doctor could give categorize me mental illness. Was inspired by youtuber & 2015 memes to make ethical(*?) code that goofs text using a free-range, non-GMO, grass-fed, minimal-meth induced algorithm. Sololearn caps input at 100 characters. I think this code is at its funniest for only one or two words anyways. * * */ import java.util.*; //takes in text, passes it to combobulator public class Mom{ public static void main(String[] args) { Scanner scn=new Scanner(System.in); String text = ""; String line; String VC = ""; String Vowels[] = { "a", "e", "i", "o", "u"}; String Consonants[] = { "b", "c", "d", "f", "g", "h", "j", "k", "l", "m", "n", "p", "q", "r", "s", "t", "v", "w", "x", "y", "z"}; //this loop is for reading multi-line inputs System.out.print("By wilmilky 4/22/24\n\n"); while (scn.hasNextLine()) { line = scn.nextLine(); if (line.isEmpty()) { break; } text += line+" "; } //this loop just reprints the input, indenting every 7 lexemes System.out.print("IN: \n" + "\n"); Scanner read = new Scanner(text); int c = 0; while(read.hasNext()){ System.out.print(read.next() + " "); c++; if(c==7){System.out.println(); c=0;} } //this loops for as many aliens as you want to output System.out.print("\n\n\nOUT:"); for(int i = 1; i<=10; i++){ AlienCombobulator ac = new AlienCombobulator(); System.out.print("\n\n\n " + ""); Scanner actxt = new Scanner(text); ac.lexemeCombobulator(actxt, Vowels, Consonants, VC); } } } //common method to determine if char is vowel or consonant public class isVCS{ //---------TODO return enum public enum CharacterType {V,C,S,O} public int isVCS(char cha){ if(cha=='a'||cha=='e'||cha=='i'||cha=='o'||cha=='u'|| cha=='A'||cha=='E'||cha=='I'||cha=='O'||cha=='U'){ return 0; } if(cha=='b'|| cha=='c'|| cha=='d'|| cha=='f'|| cha=='g'|| cha=='h'|| cha=='j'|| cha=='k'|| cha=='l'|| cha=='m'|| cha=='n'|| cha=='p'|| cha=='q'|| cha=='r'|| cha=='s'|| cha=='t'|| cha=='v'|| cha=='w'|| cha=='x'|| cha=='y'|| cha=='z'|| cha=='B'|| cha=='C'|| cha=='D'|| cha=='F'|| cha=='G'|| cha=='H'|| cha=='J'|| cha=='K'|| cha=='L'|| cha=='M'|| cha=='N'|| cha=='P'|| cha=='Q'|| cha=='R'|| cha=='S'|| cha=='T'|| cha=='V'|| cha=='W'|| cha=='X'|| cha=='Y'|| cha=='Z'){ return 1; } else if(cha=='!'||cha=='?'||cha=='<'||cha=='>'||cha=='/'|| cha=='='||cha=='-'||cha=='.'||cha==','||cha=='(' || cha==')'||cha==':'||cha==';'||cha=='{'||cha=='}' || cha=='0'||cha=='1'||cha=='2'||cha=='3'||cha=='4' || cha=='5'||cha=='6'||cha=='7'||cha=='8'||cha=='9'){ return 2; } else{ return 3; } } } //all outputs utilize randomness to choose letters, length and form public class AlienCombobulator{ //sorts through individual lexemes, then passes them to morphemeCombobulator public void lexemeCombobulator(Scanner txt, String Vowels[], String Consonants[], String VC){ AlienCombobulator ac = new AlienCombobulator(); isVCS vc = new isVCS(); String lexeme = ""; int line = 0; //reads through text lexeme by lexeme while(txt.hasNext()){ lexeme = txt.next(); VC=""; line++; if(line==7){System.out.println(); line=0;} //originally, this commented code would filter out words that I would always //want to be interpreted a certain way, but pure randomness is more entertaining //if(lexeme.contains("hello")){System.out.print("hewwo ");} //else if(lexeme.matches("the")){System.out.print("da ");} //else if(lexeme.contains("I")){System.out.print("mesa ");} //else{ac.morphemeCombobulator(lexeme, Vowels, Consonants, VC);} ac.morphemeCombobulator(lexeme, Vowels, Consonants, VC); } } //returns a random naughty word public String naughtyCombobulator(){ Random rand = new Random(); String words[] = { "asshole", "aids", "banana", "bro", "bingnut", "bomb", "cunty", "crabby", "crumpy", "casa", "dingus", "daddy", "drugs", "dingdong", "dong", "euugh", "edging", "eppy", "fish", "fart", "finger", "floopy", "furry", "floopy", "fuck", "fucking", "french", "floopy", "freenut", "fling", "gay", "goofy", "gas", "goodfart", "gucci", "homie", "homer", "hog", "italy", "iggy", "innit", "jiggl", "juicy", "jeff", "knee", "knobby", "kink", "kinky", "leggy", "lump", "lemon", "lizard", "mommy", "milkers", "meiner", "meehoy", "milk", "nipples", "noopy", "nabnab", "ouchie", "obama", "oopsie", "pizza", "poop", "peg", "queef", "queen", "rat", "rob", "rack", "sexy", "shrek", "shit", "shitty", "soyjac", "smelly", "slurpity", "shag", "tit", "titty", "titters", "tate", "thingy", "ugly", "urry", "vegan", "vore", "weiner", "weed", "wizards", "xbaby", "xeed", "xee", "yogurt", "yugo", "yummer", "zaza", "zoomer", "zussy", "zoop", "zesty", "zenis"}; return words[rand.nextInt(words.length)]; } //public String vcPattern(){} //this combobulates any words not recognized by lexeme public void morphemeCombobulator(String morpheme, String Vowels[], String Consonants[], String VC){ AlienCombobulator ac = new AlienCombobulator(); Random rand = new Random(); isVCS vc = new isVCS(); int count = 0; int vow = 0; int con = 0; //tracks occourance of Vowels and Consonants in morpheme for(int i = 0; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ char cha = morpheme.charAt(i); if(vc.isVCS(cha)==0){ vow++; VC = VC + 'v'; } else if(vc.isVCS(cha)==1){ con++; VC = VC + 'c'; } else if(vc.isVCS(cha)==2){ VC = VC + '$'; } else{ VC = VC + '?'; } } //for loop to iterate letters, check if v/c, and replace with random vc. //use a switch statement for different types of ways to fuck up a word, randomly selects a case. //1: replace all letters, keep VC pattern. //2: keep first, replace rest, keep VC pattern. //3: replace all Vowels with one. //4: keep vowels, replace consonants, replace second consonants with "". //5: cuts word in half. //6: replace all, replace vc. //7: replace all consonants except first, keep vowels and v/c pattern. //8: if: first is a vowell, prepend with a new consonant else if: first is consonant, new consonant //9: new word with vcvcvc form based on length of morpheme //10: replace with random word //11: randomly decides which of all letter types but keep vowel/consonant pattern //12: keeps first letter randomly decides which of rest to replace, keep v/c pattern //13: randomly decide which of all consonants to replace except first, keep vowels and v/c pattern //14: keep vowels, but randomly decides to replace consonants, replace second consonants with "". //15: take first few letters and repeat it //16: replace ending postfix of word or just replace the last letter //__________________________________________________BOOKMARK PROBLEM__________________________________________________ //TODO: make a loop that looks for symbols in morpheme, removes them, and then adds them back after they've been combobulated? int type = rand.nextInt(17-1)+1; //randomly selects what to do with a word //type = 11; switch(type){ case 1: //replaces all letter types but keep vowel/consonant pattern 5/10 for(int i = 0; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==2 || vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==3){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==0){ //choose random vowel morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Vowels[rand.nextInt(Vowels.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==1){ //choose random consonant morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } } break; case 2: //keeps first letter replaces rest, keep v/c pattern 8/10 for(int i = 1; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==1){ //if there are two consonants in a row, just dont touch them. if(morpheme.length()-i >= 2 && (vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i-1))==1 || vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i+1))==1)){i++;} else{morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1);} } else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==0){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Vowels[rand.nextInt(Vowels.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==2 || vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==3){} } break; case 3: //replaces all vowels with one type, keep v/c pattern 7/10 String vowelConstant = Vowels[rand.nextInt(Vowels.length)]; for(int i = 1; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(VC.charAt(i)=='?' || VC.charAt(i)=='$'){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==0){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + vowelConstant + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } } break; case 4: //keep vowels, replace consonants, replace sequential consonants with "" (th -> z). 7/10 for(int i = 1; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(VC.charAt(i)=='?' || VC.charAt(i)=='$'){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==1){ if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i-1))==1){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + "" + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } else{morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1);} } } break; case 5: //cuts a word in half if its long enough or just replace its vowel 8/10 if(morpheme.length() > 4){ if(rand.nextBoolean()){ for(int i = 1; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==0){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Vowels[rand.nextInt(Vowels.length)] + morpheme.substring(i+1); } } morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, morpheme.length()/2+1); } else{morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, morpheme.length()/2+1);} } else{ for(int i = 1; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(VC.charAt(i)=='?' || VC.charAt(i)=='$'){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==0){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Vowels[rand.nextInt(Vowels.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } } } break; case 6: //just make up a new word with unique v/c pattern 8/10 int length = rand.nextInt(morpheme.length()) + 3; int c = 0; int v = 0; morpheme=""; //now, we loop through the length of the word, which was randomly generated. for(int i=0; i < length; i++){ //letterType is responsible for randomly selecting letters. int letterType = rand.nextInt(3 - 1) + 1; //this switch ensures no more than two Vowels or Consonants in sequence so words are pronouncable switch(letterType){ case 1: if(v >= 1){ morpheme = morpheme.concat(Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)]); c++; v = 0; break; } else{ morpheme = morpheme.concat(Vowels[rand.nextInt(Vowels.length)]); v++; break; } case 2: if(c >= 1){ morpheme = morpheme.concat(Vowels[rand.nextInt(Vowels.length)]); c = 0; v++; break; } else{ morpheme = morpheme.concat(Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)]); c++; break; } } } break; case 7: //replace all consonants except first, keep vowels and v/c pattern 7/10 for(int i = 1; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(VC.charAt(i)=='?' || VC.charAt(i)=='$'){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==1){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } } break; case 8: //8: if: first is a vowel, prepend with a new consonant else if: first is consonant, new consonant 9/10 for(int i = 0; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(VC.charAt(i)=='?' || VC.charAt(i)=='$'){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))!=0 && vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))!=1){}//if not a letter, iterate to letter. else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==1 && vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i+1))==1){ //if the first series of letters are all consonants, replace them with a single one. (photos = botos) morpheme = Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i+2); break; } else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==0){ //if vowel prepend a consonant to begining of word morpheme = Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i); break; } else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==1){//if consonant just change consonant morpheme = Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i+1); break; } } if(VC.charAt(morpheme.length()-2)=='v' && rand.nextBoolean()){ morpheme = morpheme + Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)]; } else if(VC.charAt(morpheme.length()-2)=='?' || VC.charAt(morpheme.length()-2)=='$'){ if(VC.charAt(morpheme.length()-3)=='v' && rand.nextBoolean()){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, morpheme.length()-1) + Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(morpheme.length()-1); } } break; case 9: //new word with vcvcvc form based on length of morpheme 10/10 String popo = ""; for(int i = 0; i < morpheme.length(); i+=2){ popo += Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + Vowels[rand.nextInt(Vowels.length)]; } morpheme = popo; break; case 10: //choose a random word 7/10 morpheme = ac.naughtyCombobulator(); break; case 11: //randomly decides which of all letter types but keep vowel/consonant pattern for(int i = 0; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(VC.charAt(i)=='?' || VC.charAt(i)=='$'){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==0 && rand.nextBoolean()){ //choose random 0 morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Vowels[rand.nextInt(Vowels.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==1 && rand.nextBoolean()){ //choose random consonant morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } } break; case 12: //keeps first letter randomly decides which of rest to replace, keep v/c pattern for(int i = 1; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(VC.charAt(i)=='?' || VC.charAt(i)=='$'){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==2 || vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==3){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==0 && rand.nextBoolean()){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Vowels[rand.nextInt(Vowels.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==1 && rand.nextBoolean()){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } } break; case 13: //randomly decide which of all consonants to replace except first, keep vowels and v/c pattern for(int i = 1; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(VC.charAt(i)=='?' || VC.charAt(i)=='$'){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==1 && rand.nextBoolean()){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } } break; case 14: //keep vowels, but randomly decides to replace consonants, replace second consonants with "". for(int i = 1; i < morpheme.length(); i++){ if(VC.charAt(i)=='?' || VC.charAt(i)=='$'){} else if(vc.isVCS(morpheme.charAt(i))==1 && rand.nextBoolean()){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, i) + Consonants[rand.nextInt(Consonants.length)] + morpheme.substring(i + 1); } } break; case 15: //take first few letters and repeat it 9/10 //cv || vc || cvc || vcv String peepee = ""; if(morpheme.length()<=3){ morpheme = morpheme + morpheme; } else if(VC.charAt(0)=='v' && VC.charAt(1)=='c' && VC.charAt(2)=='v'){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, 3) + morpheme.substring(0, 3); } else if(VC.charAt(0)=='c' && VC.charAt(1)=='c' && VC.charAt(2)=='v' && VC.charAt(3)=='c'){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, 4) + morpheme.substring(0, 4); } else if(VC.charAt(0)=='c' && VC.charAt(1)=='v' && VC.charAt(2)=='c'){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, 3) + morpheme.substring(0, 3); } else if(VC.charAt(0)=='v' && VC.charAt(1)=='c'){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, 2) + morpheme.substring(0, 2); } else if(VC.charAt(0)=='c' && VC.charAt(1)=='v'){ morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, 2) + morpheme.substring(0, 2); } break; case 16: //replace ending postfix of word or just replace the last letter 9/10 String postFixes[] = {"er","tion","ing","ful","less","ment","able","ible","ness","ly","ship","ize","ise","ous", "ity","ty","ize","ise","ward","wards","ist","able","ible","ic","ize","ise","ful","fuly","al", "aly", "uwer", "wah", "ger", "burh", "beiber", "izz", "izzy", "ussy", "usser", "mans", "bibbel", "mon", "er", "ur", "urry", "bah", "er"}; for (int i = 0; i < postFixes.length; i++) { if (morpheme.contains(postFixes[i])) { morpheme = morpheme.substring(0, morpheme.length()-postFixes[i].length()) + postFixes[rand.nextInt(postFixes.length)]; break; } if(i==postFixes.length-1){ morpheme += postFixes[rand.nextInt(postFixes.length)]; } } break; case 17: //mirror a word (car -> carac) break; } //System.out.print(" " + type + "-"); System.out.print(morpheme.toLowerCase() + " "); //System.out.print(VC); } }

English->Alien translator🤠->👽