Abuse and perversion.
If my wife doesn't listen, I'll .replace() her. If she is okay with my .length, then I may just .splice() her instead. If only I had divided by zero though, I wouldn't have a bunch of subroutines running around my house. I guess my only way out is to return 1.
All 1s come from the Great 0, and all 1s return to the Great 0!