Contribute Jokes and get Credited!

Question

My first code in Sololearn is Programming Jokes (https://code.sololearn.com/W9RRiya4cPGu/#html). I added only 10 jokes then. I am planning on updating it. Right now, there are 23 jokes in it. I want to add more and more jokes and for that, I need your help.

Submit programming jokes as an answer to this post or as a comment to my code and get credited. The joke you submitted will be added to my code with a "SUBMITTED BY : YOUR_NAME" at the bottom.

Answer 1

Programmers be like :

//error

4:04

Sleep not found!

Answer 2

Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. It's a hardware problem.

Answer 3

A few from me @Krishna:

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”

“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”

Answer 4

One more though:
Have you heard about the new Crazy super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

Answer 5

Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays.

Answer 6

A programmer was found dead in his shower...

Who was the murderer?

The shampoo bottle...

It had the following instructions on it:

Wet hair. Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.

😁😀😂Posted by@Amrit_J.

Answer 7

I have one posted as a question with the title "Joke" (Pretty creative, right?)
Anyway, copy-pasted here:
A man complains of halleucinations. He goes to his doctor for help. His doctor says, "Try C#." The man replied, "I've already tried it." His doctor responds back and says, "Well, if you already C#, then what could be the problem?" The man says, "Whenever I compile programs, I see tons of errors, every time." The doctor replied back, saying, "Oh. That's perfectly normal. It can't be fixed. Try not being a programmer."

Answer 8

Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to fix a light bulb?

A: Yes.

Answer 9

@Hatsy : I forgot to mention. I don't have any knowledge about Prolog. So, I didn't get the joke and wanted to ask you what it meant.

@Ace, @Bharathkumar Teki : Thanks for contributing. I will add your submissions in a day or two.

Answer 10

a man asked me a question
which came first chicken or egg?
i told him chicken
he ask how
i told because egg cant run

do u understood

running marathon 😂😂

Answer 11

I also had one here

https://www.sololearn.com/Discuss/145134/?ref=app

Answer 12

Guess what the switch structure said to the programmer.

"Give me a break!"

Answer 13

A woman called her programmer husband and said "While you're at the store, get some milk!"
The programmer never returned home.

Because she forgot to say "Break".

Answer 14

Good one @J.G. Let's see if there will be any more submissions in the next 12 hours. I will add all submissions to my code then.

Answer 15

@Krishna The one I posted about light bulbs is different from the one existing in your code (although both were about light bulbs). Please review.

Answer 16

@Krishna Because Prolog programming is normally utilised in such a way that the program replies either yes or no to your queries, based on a predefined set of information/database. xD

Answer 17

Thanks for the contribution everyone. I will notify after updating the code.

Answer 18

Just added all these jokes (except the ones already present) to the code. Check it out. There are 55 jokes in the code now! If you know any other jokes, contribute and get credited again.

Answer 19

@Andelko It's already there in his code:-)

Answer 20

Daniel Fernandes:
Some error messages he wrote:

The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out
WARNING: Keyboard not attached. Press F10 to Continue
Bad command or file name. Good try, though
General failures fault. Not yours.
Hit any user to continue
Scandisk is now checking your disk. You can start praying
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue
Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can
Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit

Like it if you are laughing!!!